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Hank requested sparkling water, explaining, “I’m high on life.” I wanted to tell him, “Abstemious people don’t impress me,” but instead I smiled and encouraged him to order for both of us. I was beginning to understand his relationship philosophy: renting a girlfriend is a safer alternative to investing in a wife.Throughout dinner Hank blabbed ad nauseam, referring to himself as “a citizen of the world” and concluding his autobiographical sketch with: “You really hit the jackpot, you know.”“I did, didn’t I? ”“Yes, I had one girlfriend,” he said, his attention consumed by pieces of beef sizzling atop a hot rock. I decided to steer the conversation toward the mutually beneficial terms of our would-be coupledom.“How do you see this working? He responded without hesitation: “If I want to go with my girlfriend to St.Before we sat down, Hank gave me elevator eyes and said, “Good. Even with a pre-nup, though, you’re at risk.”“Right,” I said.I need a tall, blonde girlfriend.”When the waiter arrived, I ordered a very necessary glass of Sauvignon Blanc. I allowed Hank to feed me a piece of meat and chewed thoroughly.
Holding me back were my lack of savings and my fear of sacrificing a regular paycheck. So what if I had to tap into my inner geisha to secure a patron?The first thing I noticed when I met Darrell for cocktails at the So Ho Grand Hotel was that his appearance did not match what his profile had advertised.He’d said he had brown hair, but he was almost completely bald; his body type was more teapot than “athletic”; and he was several inches shorter than he had claimed.The less she asks for, the more she gets.” If his expression could speak, it would have said, “Don’t expect cash, bitch.”“Sounds fair,” I said.But Hank’s last statement felt somewhat threatening.